Things I’ve Apologized To My Mom For – Part 2

This is the offending table.  It sits there just staring at me and grinning in table like manner while it contemplates how it will offend yet again.  I swear to you, when other people are glancing away it moves in my way!  It’s taken out my knee and spread my toes on many occasions leading to repealing laughter from the kids, friends and even (I’m convinced) the dog. 

I think back to how many nights my mom would try to make it across the dark living room without turning on the light to retrieve a book from the table beside the couch and you’d hear, CRUNCH!  “AAHHHH!!!” and you knew in an instant that toes would not be the same for days. 

 Then there were the many times my brother and I would have jack wars on the kitchen floor.  We would put the balls aside and spin the jacks until they would hit each other and go winging off to different sides of the kitchen. 

Mom would warn us every single time, “you kids make sure you pick up every single jack!” 

“Yes, mam,” we’d reply.  Every single time we would count and search and search and there would be one jack missing.  We’d look and look all over the floor until finally we would give up and think, “okay, so if we can’t find it then it’s safe because we can’t find it.”  Except it wasn’t, because every single time my dad would find it walking in socks, usually either early in the morning or on a midnight trip to the refrigerator.  We learned all kinds of words that we didn’t know dad would say that way.

 Sorry, Mom.

 Cherry Coley ©

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