Decisions Decisions!!

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Sometimes I can drive myself crazy trying to figure out the right path.  I get all caught up worrying that I will make a wrong choice or a mistake.  It bothers me and if I let it can tie me in knots to where I don’t rest well or eat right.  I wind up making lists of pro’s and con’s for both sides of whatever I am looking at.  I debate and weigh the issues; I look at it from different directions and ask people whose opinion I highly value what they would do in the same situation.   I pray and meditate and fret and generally drive most around me halfway crazy by the time I’m done. 

Then I will simply find a place where I know I have to make the decision, time is up and decide what to do.  I have at those times set my mind on what I feel is the best course of action.  I try it on, feel it out, and start moving in that direction.  However, I keep my mind open and if I get a hollow sinking feeling, I quickly assess what’s going on.  If the feeling doesn’t go away then I will go back and look at my lists to see what I may have missed and why it’s bothering me.  So many times I will find something I overlooked or didn’t look at closely enough and have to re-evaluate my decision.  I do all this before my time is truly up, because my decisions affect more than just me. 

My decision I’ve been fretting and debating over for a few months now is where we will live for the next two to three years.  I had a choice to live in my parents’ house or stay in the city where we live.  Their house is bigger, and it would be a decent choice to live there.  I struggled with the idea of living there, completely revamping the house and making it livable.  The original thought was that it would be a big savings as I wouldn’t be paying rent.  However, after taking in consideration that everything my family and I do is a considerable distance away and the rising cost of gas, wear and tear on the cars, utilities for a bigger house, and a lot of revamping; it was obvious that we would actually be spending way more to move into their house.  The other consideration is that it would uproot my kids from schools they love and after everything we have all been through last year; I think we need a break from some of the major life changes. 

So, even though we must still move, we will be moving within a few miles of where we live now instead.  The house is closer to the kid’s schools, I will be paying rent, but our gas bills and utilities will be cut in half which will make up the difference easily.  It’s a shame isn’t it? How we all have to consider our commute so much more now with the rising gas prices?  Yet, here we are doing just that.  Just last week we watched as gas went up .19 cents overnight!  Outrageous that the gas stations can get away with such rates and we just accept it, buy it because we need it, and keep going.

How many more of our decisions are going to be governed by this one thing?  Food prices, clothing, everything depends of cost of transportation.  It’s sad that we’ve come to this.  With all of our modern technology you’d think we would be closer to coming up with organic fuel.  Too bad we don’t have engines like on Back to the Future where you put in trash to fly your car.  God knows we have plenty of trash to use and recycle. 

Cherry Coley ©

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