Things I Wouldn’t Tell My Mom

It’s funny the things you remember right out of the blue.  There are some things I would never have told my mom, though technically, I should have apologized because she was right.  I just refused to tell her because there are some things that she just didn’t need to know.

 I remember when I was fifteen back in high school my mom was determined to take me bra and underwear shopping.  Oh joy.  Off we would go to Montgomery Wards or Foley’s and she would put me through all manner of humiliation by holding up different items and comparing them on me.  I wanted to crawl into a hole.  Why on earth mom’s would put their daughters through this I don’t know.  I mean, isn’t that what dressing rooms are for? 

 Then to my surprise I found something new!  I found a front clasp bra.  I remember begging mom to let me get it. 

 “That thing would be a pain,” she said, “I bet it would always pop open on you, look at that clasp!”  She wrinkled her nose, “you wear that thing one day and you’ll be ready to throw it in the trash!”

 Alas, I was bound and determined to prove her wrong and bought it myself.  I got up the next morning and wore my brand new, front clasp bra, to high school.  It was great!  That is until the clasp came undone as I was carrying my books from one class to another.  Great.  I remember quickly sidestepping into the girl’s bathroom to correct the issue.  Then off to class again, a little bit late. 

 Unfortunately, I was working at the bookstore that night and was going to have to leave school to go directly there.  Wouldn’t you know the stupid bra would decide to come undone as I was up on the ladder putting books up in the storage bins above the shelves? Yikes!  I went to the backroom as quickly as possible holding books in front of me.  Okay, just a few more hours to go and I’d be home free.  Fortunately, it didn’t come undone again while I was working the register or sweeping the floor.  I was thankful, maybe the stupid thing just had to be snapped the right way.

 You’re thinking that’s the end of this story aren’t you?  No, of course it’s not. 

 The grand moment was just as I was about to close the store for the night and I bent down to lock the doors on the bottom, and SNAP, the bra came undone again.  It was just me and my friend Becky there, thank God, but by that time I was exasperated with the whole thing.  I stood up and turned around and she both pointed and burst out laughing, “OH MY GOD!” she yelled, “You have four boobs!!”  Of course she yelled loud enough so that passersby heard and tried to look in the door.

Yes, the stupid bra had come undone and was hiding by my arms.  Lovely. 

 Thank God they have improved on this article of clothing since then, otherwise I’m convinced there would have been a huge bonfire of front clasp bra’s at some point. 

 Cherry Coley © 

4 thoughts on “Things I Wouldn’t Tell My Mom

  1. When I was in the 5th grade I had a dream that my teacher got a call to come down to the office. When she returned to the classroom, she walked over to me, in front of everyone, handed me a grocery bag and said, “your mother said to make sure you put this on.” Inside was a training bra. I was mortified. My God. I never went to school without a bra again. That was just a dream, but certainly the message got through!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s