Grief, you think you have it down, you’ve worked through it, got control of things again and are making some progress and WHAP it throws you to the floor for another whole round of “what if’s” and “should have’s” and “you didn’t” that will take your breath away and leave you sitting in darkness. Demons whisper and taunt in the darkness they try to drown you in guilt, anger, self-pity and sadness.
My heart goes out to those who have lost, sometimes the pain is almost too much to handle. Yet even in the darkness there can be comfort, even in the depths there is hope. Darkness cannot hold on forever, the sun will rise and the dawn will break, then the darkness has no choice to flee, yes, that is what I know to be true and hold on too.
Right now it’s just a dark path in the woods and it’s just another part of this journey that continues to mold and make us who we are. Here too there are lessons to be learned. Here we are reminded of our humanity and that we have hearts that will break and bleed when wounded. Here we learn to seek solace, solitude, and most of all, God. For even in the darkest night, He is there.
It is in the deepest loss that we realize the value of what we had and what we still have. Not to say that we don’t appreciate the people in our lives already, but losing someone suddenly brings time into focus to clearly and you realize how valuable the moments we share are. Time is not an endless resource, don’t take it for granted or waste it.
Tonight, the flame of my candle barely burns, yet I am still here, and still have a purpose so I know that deep down the fire will continue and tomorrow the flame will be a little brighter, a little warmer.
Cherry Coley (c)
SpilledCookies 
I lost my stepfather the week of Christmas a few months ago. It was VERY unexpected for all of us. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret not telling him how much he meant to me and how happy he made my mother the 27 years they were married. I feel guilt over this. Thanks for the encouraging post.
Lost my dad in September and my mom in December. Thing is, I know if they were here they would not want me to dwell on things. They knew they were loved and i knew they loved me, still our minds want to play on all the “what if’s.” I hate that. Guilt is a horrible thing and forgiveness is truly a gift. ((HUGS)) to you. Thank you for your encouragement.
Oh Cherry, my heart goes out to you. People far wiser than myself say it takes about five years to get to the point where you don’t think about the death of a parent almost every day. It’s a long road. In my case, it proved to be true. I still remember the day my little sister called and said, “this is the first week that I didn’t think about mom.” It was the same for me. You are still mourning the loss of two parents and will be for some time. Don’t worry about dwelling on anything. When you are sad, be sad. When you feel better, be happy. Take solace from this… you have a lot of internet friends who are having good thoughts and prayers for you. Peace, Ray
Thank you, Ray. It seems to come in waves. It was a rough weekend, but we are still unpacking from moving so there is plenty to do. Easter Sunday is also my mom’s birthday. Thank you for your kind words of comfort they are very much appreciated. 🙂
I cannot say and I will not say
That he is dead, He is just away
With a cheery smile and a wave of hand
He has wandered into an unknown land
And left you dreaming how very fair
Its needs must be
Since he lingers there
And you-oh you
Who the wildest yearn
For an old time step and glad return
Think of him fairing on as dear
In the love of there as the love here
Think of him as still the same
I promise
He is not dead
He is just away
I didn’t write this but I came across it not long after my father passed and I have found over the years it has given others some comfort also.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s been a rough few days, I’m still waiting on the sky to clear. It’s so nice to know others care. 🙂