My mom was crocheting a tablecloth. It was a project she started about two years ago or so. She had crocheted a tablecloth for my brother and his wife and asked if I wanted one. I said yes, but not the same pattern.
The pattern we chose was called Cathedral Window. She kept telling me over and over through all the time she was working on it that she didn’t think she would live to see it finished. She had a terrible time with gout and arthritis, but she worked on it whenever she could. I told her if it was too hard, then don’t worry, but she wouldn’t hear of it, she was determined.
Truthfully, I think it was finished, but she loved the pattern and the challenge, so she kept on working on it. So, technically she was right, because she was in the middle of a row and so it wasn’t really finished when she passed away. I am unsure what to do with it. Should I try to finish it? Should I leave it as it is and put it in a display case? Should I have the last row removed and a border put around it to complete it? I just don’t know.
I love it, but it makes me sad because it was on her lap, she had been working on it when she left us. For now I am going to gently pack it and preserve it for when I can look at it with a clear thought process and perhaps a heart a little more healed before I decide what to do.
I miss you, Mom.
19 thoughts on “Unfinished Treasure”
I wouldn’t pack it away, but that’s just me. The sadness you feel is the unexpressed love you carry for her. So if it were me, I would keep it out where I could see it, touch it, and remember, and after some time I think you would know what you want to do with your treasure. It’s beautiful, as beautiful as your mom was for making that for you.
I’m with Kathryn–keep it out!
I am thinking of wrapping it in white tissue paper and putting it in a safe place while we continue to unpack. Thank you so much for your thoughtful words.
My mother loved to knit for her grandchildren, lacy baby cardigans, jumpers with jolly patterns on or characters from their favourite books or programmes. From when her first grandchild was conceived, she always had something in progress for one of them, and so it was that when she died, one of the things we brought home from the hospital was her knitting bag, with an unfinished jumper for her most recent grandson. Her sister took it, finished it. That was nearly 17 years ago and I am in tears as I write this. She knitted for her grandchildren as an expression of love, and my greatest sadness is that the youngest of them were too young to know her and to experience her love as they grew up. The things she made were worn, passed on, to a succession of children. The baby shawl that both my children were wrapped in is tucked away until I myself am a grandmother and I can share her with them.
Aww..My mom did that too, in fact she made a whole lot of the clothes I wore as a child. We have blankets she knitted and crocheted. There’s also a quilt or two from grandma. One of the quilts is made of old flour sacks – pink with flowers. 🙂
I have to agree with the consensus, keep it out. I’d also recommend actually using it for ‘family events’… holiday and special occasion meals. It was the one project that your mom loved so much that she continued working on till she went home. It is like a piece of your mother is actually there and active in the meal, just what a family meal is all about. 🙂
Frankly, I fondly remember your mother each and every time I pour soap in the sink to do dishes and put air up my tires 🙂
Jeez… hoorible grammar. Last statement should read “Put air in my tires”. That’s what I get for answering the phone in mid-thought 😉 (ACK!)
Yes, I know… it should be spelled ‘Horrible’….
LOL!! Gary, you always make me smile.
Wow, what an absolute wonderful gift from your mother. I wouldn’t be ready yet to have that out yet. But when I was, I would probably have it finished in some way and use it as a tablecloth as it was meant to be. Rather than displayed. But that’s truly wonderful!
Thank you. I think you’re right. 🙂
Thanks for the beautiful post. I don’t think I could have it out just yet either– simply looking at the book my mom was reading and didn’t finish brings me to tears. But someday it might be really healing to have it finished and enjoy it somehow, either on a table or as part of a display.
There are a few things like that too. She had a cookbook out with the page marked because she wanted to make a homemade gingerbread house with Lindsey. It all still brings me to tears. Yet it gets a little easier each day and maybe by next year we will be able to use it.
Cherry, you have a true treasure to go along with the bounty of beautiful memories that you have of your Mom. Let me know if/when you decide to finish it — you know I’d be more than willing to assist you in completing such a wonderful heirloom. (((HUGS))) Take care, Sis.
Thank you so much, Pam! I have thought of you when I thought about finishing it. I appreciate it, and will be contacting you later. Thank you again, Sis.
From my own experiences I can share that when I was inclined to finish something that held such precious memories, and then didn’t, I felt incomplete and could not be happy about that decision. However, when I have followed through it brought a great sense of satisfaction and resolution and help put a balm upon the pain of loss. Just a thought…
Thank you. I have a feeling this will be the case for me too. Thank you for sharing!
Dear Cherry, I would say you should finish it… and this is going to help you feel your mom close and accept life as it is and heal your pain… If it helps try to imagine you gave your mom a break and you took over the work with the tablecloth while she talks to you and watches you… Do not be sad, no matter what happened with this tablecloth, it is for you a reminder of how much your mom LOVES YOU… Your mom had to go to God because it was her time, but that does not mean that she has ever left you…I will never use past tense, your mom is still there with you, forever, in the love she gave you, the things you have from her and in your memories… She watches over you when you are sad and when you are happy… Just like you are always with your children, even from far away, by thinking of them and loving them…
I really love that tablecloth, in my family my grandmother and aunt used to do such beautiful things… they are lovely , not only decorations, but also a wonderful gift made with lots of love!!!
>:)< :* 🙂
I have an amazing friend who does beautiful crochet. I think I am going to ask her to help me. You are right. Thank you so much for your kindness. 🙂